How a Professional Headshot Session Will Empower You and Your Life After Divorce
Divorce Coach Lisa Lisser talks about her personal experience and why she tells her clients to book a professional headshot photography session after divorce.
If you’ve been divorced or are going through the process of divorce, you’ve likely discovered some of the pitfalls that seem to always happen, including the shifting and redefining of your identity. Finding your “sense of self” again can be tricky, right? You might ask yourself where to begin.
When you look in the mirror, who do you see? If you see a glimpse of your true self, just with poor bathroom lighting and the inability to transfer what you see to a selfie, consider scheduling a professional headshot session with a photographer who knows how to bring out your inner light.
Post-divorce photography sessions are a rising trend and adding a professional headshot to your personal portfolio is an empowering step in your journey toward self-rediscovery. These photos are the visual embodiment of who you want to be and how you want to be perceived during this process.
We talked with Lisa Lisser, a divorce survivor and now divorce coach, and she describes her journey toward reclaiming herself and establishing a new identity — as one that was tremendously boosted by taking professional headshots with Alissa Randall.
Here is her encouragement to other divorced women to consider booking a professional headshot session.
1. How can taking a professional headshot positively impact a person, especially a woman after divorce?
Divorce changes your identity in more ways than you could have ever imagined — you might not think at first that that’s what’s going to happen when you start the process, but it’s true. Taking professional headshots are a great access point to finding your new identity because divorce changes your status; and therefore, how you view every part of yourself.
After going through the divorce process, getting a professional headshot by an expert like Alissa can really help you highlight the joy you have in life. Your beautiful headshot exposes this inner light and the way that Alissa takes the pictures — she creates a space specifically for female empowerment to bring out your light. The whole process really helps you create a new identity for yourself and you get to see your face in a new light, too — your true face — which is the new face you’re going to carry into the world!
So, when you go to capture this new side of your inner strength, a great headshot can bring out the light. From Lisa’s perspective, it’s such a beautiful way to capture who you are, who you’ve become and who you are yet to be.
From a practical standpoint, many newly single women enter the dating world after decades of not dating and it’s hard to know what kind of photo to upload on the dating site. Do you use an older photo of yourself? One with your kids? A selfie in your car?
No, she says. Use an expert when you’re stepping out again. Professional headshots are gorgeous and are a great way to showcase who you are when you’re first meeting someone new. Posting a headshot by Alissa reveals your brightest self because it’s not fake or touched up — it’s just the real you that maybe you haven’t seen in years.
For Lisa, having these headshots represent her in a new status/identity really empowers her to go forward in her new business: “It lets you let go of some of the baggage.”
2. Where would I post a post-divorce headshot?
Ask yourself, “Where would I want to release this new energy? Who would I want to see it?”
Lisa explains that Alissa specializes in “finding the energy within,” and she wanted to share it with everyone in her world: on her social media profiles and on her LinkedIn profile — where she actually garnered more organic traffic to her business site.
Aside from uploading online, these photos can be used as gifts (to replace old photos your family might have framed) or even used as framed reminders throughout your home to remind you of who you are. Divorce is often thought of as a grieving process, so having a beautiful photo of yourself on your nightstand might relight the fire within you when you need it most.
In fact, keeping this headshot photo that really captures your essence and what’s lighting up inside of you can help you keep that light on. It’s like spiritual insurance — having this photo on hand can carry you through seasons of doubt and grief. The post-divorce headshot photo is like a backup generator of sorts to keep the light on when the storm comes and the electricity goes out.
3. How have you been able to better relate to other newly single women after taking professional headshots?
After listening to what others saw in her after posting her new profile photo (“Lisa, you’re beautiful, but these photos are insane!!”), it gave her an avenue to open her heart and explain the reason she took them. It also gave her an opportunity to share with her community (people in their mid-50’s) to take a chance at taking a picture of who they want to be in their next act.
She also explained that taking professional headshots is a great model for our daughters. Completing this process says that at every age, we can start something new. It’s not starting over; and yes, you’re imagining a completely different future than you had in mind, but you’re starting fresh on the (foundation of the) experiences that you had before. Civilizations build on other civilizations; so building your identity on what you were and what you knew can give you a different vision of what’s important.
Even after divorce you can still build something new, beautiful, and authentic that is positive in this world. This is the commonality between all of us who have been through divorce — we all want a new beginning, even if we’re still hurting.
Keep in mind that you can be both/and: you are still a whole person during grief, but you don’t have to live in the broken parts. Remember this quote by Leonard Cohen: “There is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.”
4. What would you say to someone who is nervous or skeptical about getting their photos taken after divorce?
I get it, you’re holding onto what you think is true during such a dramatic life change. Everything is changing. The risk of what you think might not be true is really terrifying.
We all have different self-image issues, whether divorced or not. In a headshot session with Alissa, she only sees the light. When you’re photographed by an expert who really sees what’s beautiful inside of you, this comes out. You might look at the photo and maybe you’ll stop seeing those things that trigger your insecurities, but maybe, even better, you’ll see them, but understand that they’re not what stands out.
Alissa's work highlights her gift: bringing out the light in your eyes. And if you think about it, when we are looking at people, we see what’s inside — through their eyes. So, what’s inside of you is not the double chin or grandma arms, the scar from the pimple you had when you were 12. It’s something totally different.
Who we are is the soul that’s inside us and when you offload the BS judgements that we all put on ourselves when you’re in the studio, you can see the YOU who Alissa sees. In your session, she’s highlighting what is great about you, and that makes it easier for you to see it.
“When you trust the person on the other side of the camera, it changes how you appear. I really felt a connected trust with Alissa. We have a mantra in coaching — trust yourself, trust the client, and trust the process. Because if you’re not doubting that the process might work, then the other side of doubt is faith. Faith is not knowing for sure — faith is trusting that what’s going to come through is going to be that positive thing.”
What would happen if you had the faith and trust that you could feel empowered again?
5. When should I take my headshots after the divorce?
There’s a reason why divorce is listed as the second most stressful event a person can endure (the first most stressful event being the death of a loved one). Divorce has a mourning period within the ebbs and flows of freedom, joy, sadness, or panic. A professional headshot can remind of who you are during these cycles of grief, pressure, chaos, and the whole mixed bag of emotions.
Taking your headshot after divorce is something you can do in the liminal moment when you’re on the verge of something new — when there’s both excitement and fear — when the place you’re going is a place you’ve never been before.
Once you start walking forward, you can have the confidence that you can keep walking forward.
You can take the headshot:
when you’re in survival mode: when you’re achieving the bare minimum (getting out of bed, feeding yourself, and going to work).
after the papers are signed by the courts to celebrate surviving the process.
after you’ve lived a little after the experience — after you’ve closed and opened a set of chapters in your life.
But you don’t have to take the picture the day after you walk out of the courts. You don’t have to take the photo after the storm. You can take the photos at any point in your journey. Remember that the headshot is a polishing of who you are now, like polishing your resume after 20 years and getting back into the job force.
It’s also ok to wait until you’ve gone through therapy or coaching to work through more inner healing before taking the photo. You get to decide when you’re ready.
You can take another picture years later when you’ve had life experiences in this new status and you have a better sense of who you are and who you want to be. It’s like taking an elementary school class picture every year — having a different picture at different stages to see all sides of yourself.
Taking a unique and special photo of yourself like a professional headshot is a way to engage with your inner strength. Having a photo that really captures your essence can help you keep that inner light on as you’re riding through each phase of your post-divorce life.
About Alissa
Alissa is a professional headshot photographer who creates photos that capture your essence. Alissa is based in New Jersey and provides her headshot services in NJ and NYC. Check out more of Alissa’s portfolio on the homepage, and read more photo stories on the blog.