Finding Purpose in Pain: Drew Deraney's Awakening After Life's Trials
“I would tell my younger self not to care about what others think. Haters will always hate. People will judge you regardless of whether you share or keep things inside. The lesson: choose wisely with whom you share."
I asked coach and author Drew Deraney to share a piece of advice he’d give his younger self during our photoshoot.
“I love that you ask this because I host a podcast and I always ask this question at the end. For me, this advice is a really recent realization. After going through a 3-year divorce, I threw myself a 50th birthday party to mark what I felt started the second chapter of my life, complete with three huge defining moments following.”
“A couple of weeks after my 50th, I was let go just two weeks after reporting a HIPAA violation. Then my son started having suicidal ideations. Finally, on Christmas Eve that year my father suddenly got sick and passed away. It was a really hard time and, for a while, I was just getting through.”
“Then, I had this paradigm shift that eventually led me to develop the COPE framework – clarity, opportunity, profession, evolution. It’s how I bridged the gap from suicidal ideation to coping with the situation, and then to crushing it. That’s what my podcast and book are about.”
“Men are told to suck it up and not show emotions. I had complied with this my entire life and plowed through without support. I didn’t grieve really or show emotion. Then I realized that telling my story out loud helped me to heal from within. It was very cathartic and helped me realize my purpose in life – helping men tell their story instead of suffering in silence. So, I started a men's support group online, virtually, to help men tell their story. ”
“I realized that I was also a people pleaser afraid of rejection, living as someone else. Now I know who I am. I’m starting my 3rd career and doing everything scared and authentic. It’s a challenge to change 50 years of habits. There are setbacks, but you keep going. You have to do it for yourself.”
“When men go through things, they tend to let their life unravel. Women seem to be able to keep things compartmentalized. I let my weight and wardrobe go. When I showed up with the wardrobe, Alissa had to send me home and reschedule. She gave me a list to get from the store because I was dressing too big for my body. She would rather reschedule than produce photos that did not capture my essence completely. I love her dedication to her craft. When Alissa did the headshots, she captured the essence of me. A ton of people comment on the headshot she did for me. She has a passion for what she does and takes pride in her work.”
Drew, thank you for opening up and sharing your story with us.