Born To Be An Attorney
I had the incredible privilege of photographing Elizabeth Eilender, Trial Attorney, and hearing her heart for her clients.
“I have been a plaintiff’s trial attorney for 32 years. Since I was 10 to 12 years old, I have been signing Esq. after my name when writing notes to my parents or others.
Once, I wrote a note to my parents, filing a motion that my younger brother should be disciplined for misbehaving. He was seven years old, and I was ten at the time. Always a lawyer, I cited witnesses in the case, my younger sister who wrote in the space I provided for her, ‘I agree with most of it.’
I would say I was born to be an attorney.
I always fought against bullies while my younger sister was everyone’s caretaker. My first-grade teacher called me Bossy, now, people like us are called Leaders.
My journey to where I am today began by choosing a college and activities that would look good for law school. I was in a sorority and played lacrosse. I was an extraordinarily competitive team player. That competitive nature is consistent with my style of litigation. I compete to win for my clients.
Trial attorneys are a different breed. I once wrote an essay for a newsletter with the first line from my favorite movie, A League of Their Own, ‘It’s supposed to be hard, if it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it.’ I choose hard things. I take hard cases. It doesn’t always work out, but when it does, it’s great. My goal is to obtain reasonable compensation for them.
When I began in 1992-1993, there weren’t many trial lawyers who were women, and the ones that were then and now are fierce. No one is getting over on us. I stay connected with many; we support one another. I’ve been called difficult unreasonable, and most recently, I was called a terrorist by my ill-advised colleague in front of a federal judge. I’ve been told I don’t know when to shut up.
I take all these things with a badge of honor.
My clients invite me to their homes, weddings, and parties. They email and call me, and say, ‘It’s like you’re not a real lawyer.’ The level of connection many of them feel with me is because they’ve had their worst day right before they met me. Some of them reach out after a very long time, asking, ‘Do you remember me?’ Of course, I remember everyone. And some do step away, even though we have won for them because that really bad day is hard to forget.
My parents are concerned I have compassion fatigue. My cases have become sadder. The better you get as a plaintiff’s trial attorney, the bigger the cases. As I’ve progressed, I’ve helped clients who have lost a loved one, lost a limb, who are paralyzed, and whose children are killed… it can be tough to take. I’m not great at coping. I try to limit contact with clients to weekdays, but I’ve spent many a Sunday night talking someone off a ledge. I try to compartmentalize, but it doesn’t always work. Still, I like to be emotionally present for my family.
My advice for younger colleagues is to follow your instincts, have confidence in yourself, don’t talk too fast, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Be your authentic self.
Try not to be intimidated, especially by men!
My headshot experience was fantastic. I wish I had done it 15 years ago. From the pre-meeting consult to the studio, the music, the snacks, the energy was so good and positive, and it was just a nice feeling. I wanted to hang out with them all day.
From the lighting, the clothing choices, how things were going to show up…Alissa cared about every detail of it. She is engaged, not bored, but into it. It felt very fresh. I would recommend just doing it!
I have so many pictures to choose from I don’t know which ones to put where!